Are you settling?



Best-selling author, publisher, motivational speaker and educator.

MEET dr. adair


April 11, 2016

So tell me, what have you been “settling” for in your life?

Is it your job?

Your career?


A relationship?

Your dreams?


We are all guilty of “settling” at some point in our lives and I think we actually settle for something every day.

The questions become “What is it?” and “How long will we settle?”

I don’t have the answer, but I know that at some stage in our lives we have to redefine what we want, what we need and what we think we cannot live without in our daily existence before we can make any concrete changes.

We convince ourselves that we are happy because we have 90% of what we want in life but if that 10% is potent and can destroy the 90% then that risk is just too high not to make changes.

I find myself often caught between “compromise” and “sacrifice” and not necessarily knowing when I’ve shifted positions and moved from one to the other.

I just realize that I am uncomfortable with the position that I am in and I begin to feel the pangs of hurt within me.

I feel the pain of uncertainty and may begin to wallow in indecisiveness because of my doubt.

A confused mind does nothing.

So I begin to feel stuck.

But I deserve more.

I already know that I am equipped and empowered to do all the things that I am capable of.

And so much more.

But I just have to do it.

And stop settling because of my fear of the unknown.

My Faith has to become stronger than my fear.

And my confidence must overcome any confusion.

You see, because I already know that I am “so much” but I have to embrace that I am destined to be so much “more.”

And in order to do that, I cannot settle.

Not settling requires extraordinary effort because we get comfortable in complacency, and it becomes easier to accept things as they are rather than do the work to make changes.

We need to create action plans that will help move towards change in our lives.

And if that means changing jobs, positions, relationships, and dreams…

Then so be it.

I really believe that if we put our power and our prayers into our passion then we can persist, persevere and prosper.

If we relinquish the right to settle then we can reclaim the reason to be resilient.

It’s like “mind over matter;”  as much as we “mind” will be as much as it “matters.”

We make our lives so difficult by wearing masks to cover our heartache, pain, bewilderment, fear, confusion, and doubt.

And then we forget to deal with these feelings.

And then we settle.

And we don’t struggle for significance to make the difference in our lives.

But I can’t do this anymore.

I am that foot soldier emerging from the trenches.

I am ready to be cloaked with the triple shields of Grace, Faith, and Mercy  for strength and guidance as I travel along this road that may be scary and a bit lonely.

Because I do not want to settle anymore.

I owe it my heart.

I owe it to my soul.

I owe it to my conscience.

I owe to the totality of who I am…the woman that God created.

I am.

I can.

I will.

I do.

I must.

Will we happy every day?  I think not.

Will we ever get everything that we want in life and be 100% happy?  Nope.

But I’m at the point in my life that I am willing to die trying.

Because I deserve more.

I want to be more.

And I am more.

And I’m not going to settle for less.

What about you?  Are you still going to settle?

Lesson:  At some point we have to make the choice about what is compromise and what is sacrifice in our lives to determine if we want to continue to “settle” for anything.


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